A Breath of Fresh Eyre

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I didn't have cable or satellite growing up. My mom is an English teacher and insisted that t.v. would not be our focus. I used to roll my eyes and sigh heavily when my mom proudly explained to telemarketers that we didn't need cable or satellite because we had books. As you can imagine, my television experience was limited to about ten stations (depending on the weather and how much tin foil we attached to the antenna). As much as I complained about this, I still appreciated the time for reading which this afforded. It wasn't until I grew up, however, that I became truly thankful for what my mom did. I cringe as I watch some of the shows that many young women my age talk about like Keeping Up with the Kardashians. It baffles me to think that celebrities like Kim Kardashian are revered when I had grown up admiring characters like Jane from Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë. Though Jane Eyre was published in 1847, the themes that are contained in its message to young women are, in my opinion, more progressive than that of our 21st century society.

Faith

"Conventionality is not morality"

Jane continued to have faith in God and His plan for her despite losing her parents at a young age, being sent away to school by her cruel aunt, and grieving the loss of her best friend. Jane did not give in to the pressures and temptations with which she was faced. By doing so, she demonstrated that she while she lived in this world, she was not of this world.

Inner Beauty 

 "Beauty is of little consequence."

Though Mr. Rochester led Jane to believe that he loved Blanche Ingram for her beauty and wealth, it was actually Jane that he loved. Mr. Rochester recognized the inner strength which Jane possessed and had used to survive her difficult childhood. He also appreciated the potential that Jane saw in him; whereas Blanche Ingram saw Mr. Rochester only for his fortune and status.

Education

"Women are supposed to be very calm generally: but women feel just as men feel; they need exercise for their faculties and a field for their efforts as much as their brothers do."

Education was Jane's key to life beyond Lowood Institution. It allowed her to become self-sufficient and independent. She was curious and eager to learn and teach others. She was not satisfied with doing only that which was deemed acceptable or expected of her as a female.

An End to Silence

She feigned happiness. Tears, she knew from experience, provided little relief . She tried to pray but it was always the same one-sided conversation. The words had become hollow and void of their meaning over the years. 

She found comfort in quiet, destructive ways. She purged her troubled thoughts and feelings until there was nothing left of her. When it was done, she sat there, the cold, smooth porcelain against her skin as a wave of momentary relief washed over her. Glancing in the mirror, she saw her face, puffy and red. Her eyes bloodshot and her body trembling. This was a familiar sight as it was the same reflection that had stared back at her since she had begun this secret ritual years ago. She had lost five more pounds since last month and laughed inwardly at the thought of the compliments she was paid for her increasingly thin frame. She always looked her best when she felt her worst.

Exhausted and disgusted with herself, she decided to go to bed. And with a final rinse of her mouth at the sink, the remaining remnants of her fragile spirit spiraled down the drain.

Weekend Whereabouts // Memorial Day Weekend

Happy Memorial Day! This long weekend could not have come too soon. There have been a lot of things on my  mind recently and this weekend provided the rejuvenation that I needed!

My evenings consisted of beautiful, solitary walks outside. I enjoy going to the gym but who could resist being outside this weekend?! I'm lucky to have such a beautiful path nearby to walk down...

I'm happy to report that I've been very productive this weekend! I've always wanted patio furniture for my deck, so I've been keeping my out for a good deal. The patio furniture I came across at some of the big chain stores, however, was so expensive and...well...boring. On Saturday, I decided to buy a vintage patio set that I had my eye on for several weeks from a local antique shop. I even hauled it and carried every single piece of it up the steps to my deck all by myself! I then added the cute votive candle holder from Home Goods as a finishing touch. I also came across a pair of seemingly boring candle holders (see below) while antiquing. When I first spotted them, I didn't really think too much of them. I soon realized, however, that with a little coat of white paint, they'd match my patio set and add a whimsical touch to my patio in the evenings (and for $12, why not?!)...

Blah green candle holders

Freshly painted candle holders with my new patio set!

Lastly, my sister and I attended a local festival called the Carrillon Heritage Fest in Dayton. We walked around the various buildings which provided information on local historical figures such as the Wright Brothers. We also enjoyed some delicious kettle corn as this man rode by...

A Lost Art

"Good bye my little Anna" - a letter from my grandfather to my grandmother

I am the typical victim of too many Brontë and Austen novels with my unrealistic expectations of men and my longing to walk across a heather-strewn English moor. Though I realize that times have changed since the publication of these books, (let's face it, women don't sit about in parlors powdering their noses and men don't rock cravats like this anymore) there are still those traditions, such as letter writing, that I wish had never died. Some of my favorite scenes in books are the parts where the girl waits with bated breath at the arrival of an important letter. If you feel impatient about waiting for someone to respond to a text, then these girls must have had the patience of a saint!

Though it sounds silly, there really is something exciting about waiting to receive something in the mail. I think that's what makes it so special. Letters are tangible, texts aren't. The above letter from my grandpa to my grandma was something she cherished and saved for future generations to appreciate. He also wrote the note below to me that I didn't discover until after his death. It was in a journal that my parents saved from when I was in kindergarten. I think he must have written it when he came to my school for Grandparent's Day. Precious, no?

For me letter writing is also a creative outlet. I love finding cool stationary and using sealing wax. You can buy them at craft stores in the wedding invitation section or online but I like to buy sealing wax and seals when I go to the Renaissance festival in my area each year.

Speaking of creativity, check out these amazing handmade cards my Godmother sends me!

With all this being said, do I really think letter writing will ever come back? No. But let me conclude with a little advice for guys: write to her. Not a text, tweet, or facebook message...a letter. Be sure to use proper grammar (trust me, subject-verb agreement is sexy. If she doesn't care about good grammar then you should seriously re-evaluate your relationship with her. I'm mean, c'mon, you're better than that). Don't you dare use acronyms, emoticons, or slang. You do not need to be freaking Shakespeare (iambic pentameter is optional). Be as verbose or as terse as you please. I don't care what type of girl she is. If you write her a letter or note, she will swoon. This is as much a universal truth as the idea "that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife!"

Feeling Rosy

I am obsessed with Cake Boss! I know this show has been on for several years but I've only started watching it recently. (I've never had cable/satellite so I'm usually always late to the party when it comes to the latest t.v. shows. I recently subscribed to Netflix, however, and I'm finally getting up to speed!)

Though Buddy makes cake decorating look easier than it actually is, I still felt compelled to give it a shot. However, I figured it would be best to start on cupcakes since I have absolutely no experience! I then turned to Pinterest for inspiration. During my search, I stumbled upon this video tutorial which I followed to make the delicious butter cream icing seen below. I also added a very small amount of concentrated icing color (not food coloring) to create this lovely rose color.

The creator of the butter cream icing tutorial also created this tutorial which demonstrates how you can create a very realistic looking rose with the icing you just made. The only additional supplies that you need include a piping bag and a rose petal tip.

I found the tutorial to be really easy to follow and I was really happy with the way my cupcakes turned out! They're so beautiful that you can serve them just as they are or you could even arrange them in a bouquet like this

Weekend Whereabouts

Thank goodness for three day weekends! It's amazing what an extra day can do. Unfortunately, the weather here in Ohio hasn't improved and my office closed early on Friday because of it. It's not fun trudging through it, but it was certainly a stunning sight as I left work.

I usually visit at my parents on the weekend. When I arrived on Saturday morning, I chuckled as I saw my 12 year old black lab playing around in the snow in the backyard. Here he is greeting me at the back door. 

I spent Sunday completing boring tasks like grocery shopping and cleaning. While I was at the store, I came across this lovely bouquet of white roses on sale from Valentine's Day. I felt kind of silly buying flowers for myself, but they provided me with the encouragement I needed to finish cleaning my apartment!

I noticed that my keyboard has begun to collect dust so I started practicing some more this weekend. Here is one of my favorite songs from The Phantom of the Opera. I shortened it because I haven't finished teaching myself all of it!

 
Think of Me from Sharon Haney on Vimeo.

Tell me about what you did this weekend!

A Few of My Favorite Things

I have a confession. I am not the type of girl who feels the need to wear makeup all the time. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure I've scared people with the dark circles underneath my tired social worker eyes but I often don't have the energy/motivation to put it on in the morning. When I do, I like a soft, natural look. I've always subscribed to the belief that less is more. Below are links and descriptions of some of my favorite products that help me achieve this type of look. Feel free to share your favorite products!

Beauty Blender
The Beauty Blender is an egg-shaped sponge that you dampen with water, squeeze out, and then use to apply your foundation. Instead of smearing on your foundation with this applicator, you use a stippling motion that leaves a flawless finish.

Burt's Bees Tinted Lip Balm in "Petunia"
I'm constantly applying lip balm during this dry, winter weather. This product moisturizes while also adding a pretty hint of color. I've found that the color lasts even when the balm is gone.
  
Pixie Lid Last Shadow Pen in "Shell Sheen"
This product brightens my eyes while also providing subtle color and shimmer. I've had no issues with creasing and it also blends very well.

Revlon Colorstay Liquid Foundation in "Ivory"
I think what I love most about this product is that it matches my skin tone! I have a very fair complexion and even the lightest tones of many foundations often make me look orange. It also provides great coverage without being too heavy and it lasts all day.

Thrift Store Finds

Nothing relieves stress for me like shopping. While I love the mall, thrift store shopping allows me to indulge in retail therapy without spending very much. Below are two of my most recent thrift store finds that I think Macklemore would be proud of!

This first thrift store find is a bed frame that my mom gave me for Christmas. My mattress and box springs had been on the floor of my apartment from the day I moved in until a little over a year later. This arrangement was okay at first, but I soon felt like I was camping in my own apartment! My mom scoured several thrift stores until she came across this frame from a Goodwill Outlet for $35! She then had it painted and distressed at this local store so that it would match my apartment. I should have taken a "before" picture, but here's the end result:

The second find is this Dooney & Bourke purse. Considering that these purses cost several hundred dollars brand new, I was thrilled to snag this one for $20! The zipper was broken when I bought it, but this local store was able to repair it for me at a reasonable price. Do you have any cool thrift store finds? Please share!

Singular

It seems like the Christmas decorations have just been put away and yet the stores have already moved on to the next holiday: Valentine's Day. Whether you choose to celebrate the holiday or not, everyone has an opinion about it. It seems that most fall into one of two camps: those who grumble that it's merely a chance for retailers to capitalize off sappy love birds or those who are sappy love birds that use the holiday as an excuse to buy and receive various tokens of love. Me? I've never really made up my mind.

Oh, I don’t mind missing out on a life-sized teddy bear but when is this whole waiting game going to end? Don't get me wrong--I'm not sitting around waiting helplessly. I'm very busy with my career and I accomplished exactly what I wanted. Yet the sympathetic expressions and comments from others at social gatherings as well as the unsolicited advice that I receive on an on-going basis are truly vexing and lead me to ask:

What’s wrong with me?

My dear mother would diplomatically respond, "Nothing." She always has and I thank her for that; however, I've always been inclined to think otherwise. For years I've lead myself to believe that if I changed aspects of my being (weight, appearance, personality, etc.) things would be different. Not only have I discovered it to be impossible to be someone I'm not, I've also found the effects of these silly notions to be quite detrimental in many ways.

It's usually at times like these that I turn to my faith. One week during Advent, I was sitting alone in my usual pew at church. I got there early and not many other congregants had arrived yet. I sat staring at the font of the church admiring the lovely Christmas decorations when I looked up at the cross. I thought of the baby whose birth we would soon be celebrating and the sacrifice He would later make. I thought of the amount of love that such a sacrifice requires and then I felt ashamed of myself. Ashamed for doubting His plan for me. Ashamed for trying to recreate myself to be a person that He did not create me to be. I realized that His love, whether I have a significant other or not, is enough. Suddenly, I did not feel alone in that pew and a voice within me said...

"You have never been alone."

I'm pretty sure this gift beats a life-sized teddy bear any day.

Happy Valentine's Day.

The Quiet Activist

"Prejudices, it is well known, are most difficult to eradicate from the heart whose soil has never been loosened or fertilised by education: they grow there, firm as weeds among stones."

- Charlotte Brontë -

Most of us can remember where we were or what we were doing when a major historical event happened. I remember huddling around a flat screen t.v. with others on my college campus the day the first African American was inaugurated as president of the United States. Regardless of your political affiliation (Democrat, Republican, or somewhere in-between), it is truly amazing to think that a little over 40 years prior to that inauguration day in January of 2009, a man named Martin Luther King, Jr., the leader of a movement trying eradicate the discrimination of African Americans in our country, was assassinated. That day was April 4, 1968 and my grandpa, Gene Fasbinder, clearly remembers where he was and what he was doing.

My grandpa had earned a degree in electrical engineering and was working as a supervisor at Philco Ford in Houston, Texas during this time frame. Inspired by the urging of a guest pastor, Rev. Earl Allen, at church one Sunday to help under-served minorities in the community, my grandpa decided to contribute by sharing his knowledge of computers.

My grandpa (bottom right) featured in an article

On the day of MLK's assassination, my grandpa was with Rev. Earl Allen in downtown Houston developing computer classes designed to help the under-served minorities in his community obtain meaningful jobs. The instructors would include my grandpa as well as his co-workers from Philco Ford who volunteered as well. The courses included computer coding and keypunch. A job fair was later held which allowed the graduates of these classes to be interviewed by prospective employers in the area.

My grandpa (left) with Rev. Earl Allen to his left

My grandpa later received a community service award from his company for his contribution as it reflected the goal set by Henry Ford II who stated, "Our goal is to do all we realistically can to give people who have been held back by prejudice and poverty a chance to earn a decent life." I've always joked with my grandpa that it never made sense that I was his granddaughter because he's an engineer and I always used to cry over my math and science homework. However, this story of my grandpa during the civil rights movement has shown me where I must have inherited my interest in social work!

Receiving a community service award by the director of Philco Ford of Houston

The Time Has Come

Growing up, I kept many journals: locked journals, pretty journals, and plain ol’ composition notebooks. I didn't write anything noteworthy in these journals, but each one acted as a sort of confidant for me—something that I could entrust with my secrets, struggles, worries, and daily life events.

I've always found there to be incredible therapeutic value in writing and yet I seemed to write less and less as I became older. That’s not to say that I stopped entirely, but my writing consisted exclusively of papers for my college classes. Since I've graduated and started working full-time, my writing is now in the form of seemingly endless documentation and paperwork.

In an effort to return to the type of writing that I used to take pleasure in, I've decided to start this blog. I hope you’ll join me as I attempt to document my day-to-day life as a twenty-something-year-old social worker trying to make at least a small difference in the world while also attempting to navigate it for myself!

“The time has come,” the Walrus said,

“To talk of many things:

Of shoes—and ships—and sealing wax—

Of cabbages—and kings—

And why the sea is boiling hot—

And whether pigs have wings.”

- Lewis Carroll -